responses to an essay prompt '__ has just started out at a new school where he knows noone. the children here are not as friendly as at his old school and he had to have lunch all by himself in the first week. during his second week, however, another child who seemed nice sat with him. later, in PT class, __ noticed a lot of the other kids making fun of his new friend for being overweight and calling him unkind names. __ wants to fit in and make friends, but he also does not want to hurt his new friend. what should __ do? what would you do? have you ever been in a situation where somebody was laughing at a person you care about? what would you do?'
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- for getting new friends, you needs to earn respect by getting 1st in class in studies and sports.
- you should throw little parties, give people presents and help them out in studies, homework and classwork. maintain your physique and become smart.
- have proper manners and become sophisticated.
- do not break into fights, tease people or call them names.
- for getting respect from teachers, you need to be polite, good-looking (hair combed, nails cut and in discipline)
- remember that 'first impression is the last impression'.
please don't take it personally. after all, it is only my opinion based.
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if i were him, i would not try to make friends so fast. i would do it slowly, so that it happens properly. if i were a new boy, i would feel very happy if old students would have sat next to me, as that would mean that people are starting to get comfortable with me around them.
if the children of my school make fun of my friend, i would not mind them at this time, as they are not making fun of me.
later on, i would spend more time in making friends one at a time, as this would easier, and i would automatically be friends with the person i had previously befriended. this process will take some time.
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if anyone is teasing my new friend, i would go to him and tell him don't lose courage, everything will be o.k. i would try to make him happy by telling a joke or something and say something to distract him from the teasing. when he has gathered enough courage to resist the teasing, i would tell him to just ignore them.
well, from my real life experience, i am sure that they would stop teasing him, but still some people might not stop. so, the next step is to try and make friends with them and then to tell them that what they are doing is not right. the difficult part is to make friends with them but still not make my friend feel that i am teaming up with the others and that he will be left out.
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when they were making fun of his new friend, he felt stuck in the middle of the 'making friends scale'. he wants to make new friends, but he also wants to stay friends with the persons who first came to shake hands.
if you want to know what i would do, here it is-
1) i would try to talk to a few people who seem nice and explain to them that you cannot make friends seeing how fat or skinny people are.
after they understand, it is time for number 2.
2) i would tell the people who understood to tell their friends. and soon, everyone will be friends with each other.
3) if they still don't understand, i would take charge, and tell people that it is not nice to be mean to people.
if people still don't understand, then i don't have any other plans. if people don't agree, they are heartless and very bitter. people who understand are sensitive to things.
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i experienced this when my father was learning to drive. he had to park his car, taking a reverse. his car touched the bumper of a rickshaw. the rickshaw driver started shouting at my father and he said that you and your father are fools. if you don't know how to drive a car why are you driving? other people started laughing and the rickshaw man shouted at my father to pay me, pay me.
when they were shouting and laughing at my father i felt that i should tell them how bad it feels when people laugh at you when you make a mistake. but i could not, because they are adults who are stronger than me, and it could be injurious to me.
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the complex, cruel labyrinth that childhoods are lived in.
only adults can think with fond, selective amnesia about the innocence of childhood. the intrigues, rivalries, griefs and betrayals of childhood are that much fiercer because it is in many ways the hurts of a community that is voiceless in the midst of all the love.
god let me never lose sight of this.
