Diwali

there are crackers going off incessantly outside, and the sky is lit by flares and fountains of light. old age must be catching up with me. spent the entire day reading in bed. it is celebration of a sort, i guess.

at any rate, i am not all dolled up like amitabh bachchan on the Big Boss show in something pink, emboidered and feminine. perhaps the dress was generously lent to him by that doyen of high fashion faux pas, the newest addition to the family, mrs. rai-bachchan.

i don't understand men who wear pink, much less geriatric men who wear embroidered pink - with a matching pink embroidered stole! that is taking metrosexuality a bit too far, in my opinion.

he is going batty in his dotage. i took a poll. the family and i much rather prefer shilpa shetty and her marvelous curves gracing the Big Boss screen.

randomness

Solo songbird's song

sunk in secret sadness

secure.

.........................

Mornings mourning

momentary madnesses -

madcap machinations

masterfully mowed down.

(t)horn of plenty

i am now faced with three bottles of home-made wine, two bottles of honey - one the wild variety and the other the refined variety, three huge cakes, 20 kilos of plantains, fried fish, prawns, smoked beef and many many many coconuts. all of which i am expected to down in the short span of 15 days.

families. out to kill one.

another installment of the make-twiggy-fat project.

illumination

seemingly lasting things erode away so very quickly. nothing lasts in this constant flux. fragile things constructed out of prayers, leaps of faith, half-hopes, daydreams and wishful thinking are so easy to dismantle. so very easy. set on collision course from the moment of inception. on impact, nothing is left, but fast disappearing mockeries.

not every toad turns into a prince.

is it just me, or is the world really out to get me?

last day of term.

true to the frighteningly efficient form the H.R. had been exhibiting throughout the first half of the year, we got this form to be filled in at the most urgent, a generous 10 minutes before pack up. one more form to fill in is indeed my idea of a fun way to spend a few minutes, compared to totally fruitless activities like getting a drink of water or going to the loo. forms, they are something.

this one was extra special. it requested exciting details like the date of birth of one's mom, and sex (where one has to work hard to squash one's desire to write a truthful 'never had' )

hennyway,,trouble is, it required one to fill in one's details IN BLOCH LETTERS and no less. now i have had as substantial a general education as the next person, but i'v never been taught to write in BLOCH letters, much to my shame, so i gave in, and just filled it in in humble block letters.

and the evening held a few more revealing glimpses into my total lack of in-with-it-ness.

this sign for example, in the friendly neighborhood mall which commanded in no uncertain terms - LADIES DRESSES AVAILABLE HEAR!

the rabbi

kids are the sweetest things. and they say the darnedest things. my favorite bits out of my Teachers' Day tribute -

the cover has a picture of me looking like a constipated criminal, but i'v decided not to crib.

"..she is very buetiful and a vigorous reader with many suggestions to give us about books." vigorous reader. perhaps i flip the pages with a lot of vigor?

"..is always carm and cool. for her nobody is good and nobody is bad. she explains and not take action." i think he meant to say that i am fair. i hope so, anyway. or maybe he meant that i am an unfeeling twerp?

stamp of approval from someone experienced. serious stuff - "..you will never get bored in her class. i say this, because i am experienced."

"with a cup of tea, her mood is very good"

"she organises her space, time perfectly" little monster. calling me fussy.

i am going to quote him when i win the Peace Nobel - "once we were lost, but she came and guided us to the right path. because of her hard work, we are at this stage." the state of the stage is questionable. i am not sure if he meant the last bit as a compliment.

things that make little boys grateful - "when she scolds us, she also jokes. she sometimes gives us extra time for submitting our work. she also shows us videos and asks questions in a quiz."

"whenver it is her turn to teach, i never get bored. she gets angry less often. and because of her, i somewhat started to like Math." high praise. intelligent kids are so difficult to keep interested.

lucky, lucky day. i have found a helpmeet in this difficult world - "my teacher is very serious about work. she gives us homework that is lengthy but at the same time interesting and joyfull. she says if we want to have fun we also need to follow some rules. she gives us many options in working. we will follow her rules and help her to manage this difficult world." yahoo.

" ma'm is supper best. if there was gold on one side and ma'm on the other i will choose ma'm. when my mode is bad i see her and it becomes good." this is my cue to start teaching Degrees of Comparison, and work a bit on getting their spellings in order. 'supper best' is definitely more interesting than a tame super best, but there are times when one has to be conservative.

"she scolds in the regular way. she cares about us and wants us to be healthy. i eat my salad now." he does, he does. small battles won.

my favorite - "she follows nonviolence, peace and politeness." i do indeed. surprising really.

"'she cooperates with us and we also do sometimes." the 'sometimes' is so totally totally true. thank god for small mercies.

"i like her because of her way of speaking even if it is a scary movie. her facial expressions are nice."

"when ma'm speaks i think that a cut sparrow is speaking to me." i sincerely hope he meant 'cute sparrow'. i'll seriously have to do something about the spellings. or, good heavens - my voice.

it is funny. one does not even realize when it is that other peoples' kids slowly become one's own. how so much space can be created in an ordinary human heart. this is such a delicate, frightening thing, this handing over of precious people to be looked after at strange hands.

a new beginning

dear shiny. may every single happiness come your way.

"We talked as Girls do --

Fond, and late --
We speculated fair, on every subject, but the Grave --
Of ours, none affair --

We handled Destinies, as cool --
As we -- Disposers -- be --
And God, a Quiet Party
To our Authority --

But fondest, dwelt upon Ourself
As we eventual -- be --
When Girls to Women, softly raised
We -- occupy -- Degree --

We parted with a contract
To cherish, and to write
But Heaven made both, impossible

Before another night."

- Emily Dickinson

narrow escape

got rid of the gladiator dress finally.

i am so very grateful to have gotten it exchanged. i'd been having nightmares thinking i'd have to go into the wedding of one of my oldest chums looking fit to do battle with hungry lions.

the poor misguided designer probably had noble thoughts when he/she designed it. perhaps the flashy golden breastplate-lookalike was designed to make the wearer an irresistible center of attention? if that was the intent, the dress will surely fulfill its destiny. no one with a functioning pair of eyes will be able to escape looking at it, and after looking once, will have seriously dilated pupils for a considerable while hence.

the new one is definitely low on bling, though the sleeves are distressingly fashionable. i just cannot see the sense in having sleeves made of net. what is the point? some sort of let-them-glimpse-but-not-see-all theory out of 'the art of seduction'?

will have to do something about them.

in the meantime, i am so glad at not having to go about looking like an out of season lit up christmas tree.