How to acquire fans and impress people

.....provided they are armpit(or below)-height people.

anyway;

Ingredients:

Item Description Quantity

child small a few

window foggy one, to begin with

finger preferably your own one, for starters

Process:

Make sure intended audience is not (a) sleepy, (b) fighting with its neighbour, (c) busy sticking its head/hand out of the window, (d) reading a book - it happens sometimes, (e) picking its nose - it happens often.

Do something to grab attention - simple things like vomiting, bumping one's head against the seat-back opposite one, or putting up both hands over one's head and wiggling one's fingers work generally.

Once attention is grabbed, work fast. juvenile attention dissipates faster than the fizz out of a cola bottle.

Draw a figure on the foggy glass with your finger. Try a fish for starters (If you cannot do even that, go and die immediately)

Wait for someone to notice "fish" in a bored voice, and then proceed. Draw a larger fish, with a more sinister expression.

Next, draw a turtle.

Then draw a whale.

Follow it up with a starfish.

Wait for awe to descend on the audience. When suitable amounts have descended - it is characterized by shrill voices yelling Madam drew a fish/turtle/whale/starfish,,,look, look - continue.

Graciously oblige further requests and draw on demand - jellyfish, sea horse, octopus, sea snail, sea anemone, and shark.

Listen to awe-stricken comments in the nature of Wooww madam, you have such nice drawing.

Bask in the glory.

Follow-up:

Bestow benign smiles on said conquests when you meet them next, and wave a royal palm at them when they yell hellos/goodbyes at you. Sure to make parents/teachers wonder at your animal magnetism.

I now have a devoted following, who sit very close to me in the hopes of there being a repeat performance the next time it rains.